


Easter Shoerwr s

by songquake



Series: Firewhiskey Fics [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Firewhiskey Fic, M/M, Multi, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-25
Updated: 2013-03-25
Packaged: 2017-12-06 10:42:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/734760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/songquake/pseuds/songquake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Firewhiskey Fic, April 2012<br/>Tje Easter Bunny hates children., but usually love s Malfoy Manor./ Where the albinos are. </p><p>NOTE: FWF is a LiveJournal community devoted to producing works while drunk, with no beta-readers or editing allowed. Therefore, one should expect hilarity, not coherence. And definitely not good writing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Easter Shoerwr s

**Author's Note:**

> **I am of legal drinking age in my region: in my region:** YES  
>  **Pairing(s)/Characters:** Easter Bunny, Harry, Draco. And combinations thereof. And chicks?  
>  **Challenge:** Easter bunny, april showers  
>  **Summary:** (can be very brief/basic) Tje Easter Bunny hates children., but usually love s Malfoy Manor./ Where the albinos are.   
> **Rating/Warnings:** NC-17, for sexy pissing itmes. And I suppose desecraton of childhood and religiosn   
> **Author's Notes:** (if any) Um it seems I couldn’t decide whether this needed to be in present or past tense... Also thanks to literaryspell for suggesting the connection between APRIL SHOWERS and GOLDEN SHOWERS. You a r e a gem!

The Easter Bunny hated biitisting the burrow. HATED BISITING THE BURROW. Like whoa. there were children everywhere. too many ginger-headed brates. As if it ewren’t bad nough when molly an dAruthre had to have like a million children, none ot hteir offsprin g could be fused with the birht control either. 

Usually the Easter Bunny did like bisiting Malvooy Manor . There were never too many children there. The malfoys knew how to yse contraceptigve CHARMS. They did. They never had more than one kiddo in a generation. I’m tlelling you. 

Except this year there werte too many tykes at teh manor. Too many ginger-headed, curly-hgaried loudmothed tykes. What? why were there all these goddamned weasleys at the Manor of Malfoy? In furkcing WITLSHIRE. WEasleys do n’t belong in Wiltshire. THey need a burrow, not a great lovely house that’s ll kinds of white and stuff with even white (albino) pets. 

The Easter Bunny, being a white (albineo) pet himself, REALLY LIKED MALFOY MANOR. 

It likekd to pee on the peakcocks! 

But all thoase children were terrfying ith e peacocks, and terrifying the Easter bunny as well. Chilren are horrible. They like to find all the chocolate eggs beore the chicks have had a chance ot hatch. Or, well, the macgical buny-chick hybrids that the Easter bunny is importantly supposed to hide sso they’ll be safe. 

You see, the chileredren would EAT th echocoloate eggs. Children are like dementors for the Easter Bju nny who hides the aseter Eggs that are suppeod to hatch into magic hybrid easter creatures. 

ANYWYA. So the Easter Bunny is busy hiding eggsa st Malfoy Mnaor because that’s where Draco told him hto hide the egggs. Why the Easter Bunny listend to Draco I don’t even know, because Draco doens’t beleive in Easter but Ostera which is a cross-quarter day, or sit that beltane, but who cares? Draco is soem sor t of pagan because Chrsitiatans hoate witchcraft and wizardery and will kill Hogwardsts n principle. *nods* even though i won’t. But the Christian Right sucks like that, easpcially in the US. 

[I can say that bcause I live int the US. Does this count as breakign my anonymity? SORRY MODS!!!!]

ANYWAY. I write my storey more! 

The easter bunny is at the Manor and hiding the eggs and loking for peacocks to pee upon, when he sees harry and draco in a freaking gazebo making eyes at each other. An dhte easter bunny is confise, buecause really, isn’t the reason fo rall the terrifying children that Draco and Harry made eyes at Astorya and Ginny?? And theat Hermione and ron shagged way too fotent. and also george and angelina, and percy an dthat audrey lady, and whoever else the wewastlye WEASLEYS reproduced with? LOTS OF CHIDLREN ASNDTHE EAASTER BUNNY DOES NOT BELIEVE IN MPREG. 

But he sees harry and Darco making eyes at each other. Tehy are beign pretyt shameless bout it even. And then they touch, and kis anad kiss and kiss and kiss, nd the ester bunny is getting a little bored tiwh all the kissing and NOT SHAGGING, but then he sees that oh there’s eseveral empty water bottle s with the boy s in teh gazebo and he thinks than maybe it’s going to get interesting around here. 

He thinks it evern mero when Draco gets on his knbees and harry sits on a small bench int eh gazembo and they bodth take down their toursers. Fuck I wish i could correct thespelling there; I meant TEROU fuck TROUSERS, okay? 

So both boys are takign donw theirn trousers, and the bunhny would, too, except he dosn’t wear trousers, does he, be ause he’s a cufkking RABBIT. LIke the kind that thye use in the Sex and the City episode, except he’s a tually alive. But vibraritng like Thumbper in the Bambi movie because while he may not be twitterpated, he’s cretainly horny. *nods* 

So horny Easter NBunny is makcing on the BHoy Who WOre noe Trousers. ad teh Draco M,alfoy who might nbe as albine o as the buny himselr. 

Fuck. I’m a cheam drunk. Have aI manetioned that? This is two shots of rum, ehere. 

That probaly should have gone in teh discussion post; but I’m writing int HTIS SCREEN now. 

Anyway. 

Righ. Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter are in a gazebo, both with their trousers and now their pants down around their ankels. Pootter is sitting on a bench, and Draoc is kneeling before him, looking atht e cokc before him like it’s a giant chocolate-egg flavored lolly. The bunny isn’t very amusted that Draco wants to eat chocolate eggs, but he figures he’s not supposed ot know waht it is draco wants to suck, and maybe Dracao reaaklly does love the taste of Harry Poter’s cock best. Yes. 

Draco is licking his lips, and reaches one handc to his own penis and his other hand to Harry’s penis, but Harry slaps the hand away from his own cock and orders Draco to drop his. 

“I want you to lick my cock carefully, at my directoion,” Ptotter says. 

The Easter Bunny hardens a little more too. Now he thinks he might want to fuck Draco or maybe be fucked by harry or maybe both. 

(Why do my Firewhiskey ficks end up being all abou thte bestiality????????????) 

So Drcao leans over to lick at the crown of Potters cock, and moans a little at the taste of it. It seems to the bunny that even though boy cock always smells a little musty,. homosexual wizards DO think it tastes better than anythingelse ever. 

Draco is sucking a little at the crown of the cock in front of him, and bends his waist a bit, tryieng to ge tmire. Harry oblighes him for a little, but then starts talkign dirth. 

“Who do you beliong to, Draco?” 

Draco is flushed as he looks up, he looks a little embarrassed. The Easter Bunny can feel the heat coming off the blond boy; it is pulsing from where the boy sits and warming the rabbit who is perched a scant few yards away, just at the entrance to the fucking gazebo. The smell of arousal coming off of both men is a bit ridiculous, and the bunny’s nose twitches, oberwhelmed by the combind scents of their arousal. 

The bunny’s cock is seriously hard and hot and red and protruding rather aggressively now. He wants to fuck. Except he’s a rabbit, and figues human holes will not be small enough to provid ehim with adequate satisafceetion!!! 

But the boys only have yees for one another, anwyas. Damn it sucks to be a bunny when there are no othe rbunnies areound to fuck. Because bunnies get so fucking horny so easily! Where are the rest of hte rabibts! The Easter Bunny doesn’t care abou tboy rabbits or girl rabbits right now, and anyway, THIS deviant bunny prefers chickens. Of which there are NONE at Malfoy Manor. 

There are, however, those peacocks...

The two men in the gazebo hav eno knowledge of hte frustration of their lapine companion. Because hety don’t give two shits abou trabbits when there is another naked man in front of them. And Harry’s eyes have darkened, and his hadn is in Draco’s hair, pulling him forward onto Harry’s cock until Draco’s gagging, drooling. Thne just as aggressibvley, Harry pulls draco off his cock, and pulls the blond hair so that Draco’s head is raised up towards Harry, as if Harry were the sun god and Draco in prayer to him. 

Or maybe the rain god, because what Harry sayst to Draco then is, “You’re mine, are you?” 

“Yes, Garrym” Dracos ays, “I’m yours. do with mw what you will.” 

Harry seems to go stiffer at that, and he takes several deep breaths. There iare still two bottles of water sittin gby them in the gazebo, and Harry takes one of them to drink. He ignorse the other one, though, and takes his Holly and Phoenix feather wantd in hand, casting _Atguamenti_. He moans. 

“Press on my belly, Draco,” Harry says. “I fully intend to mark you as mine.” 

The Aguamenti streams from Harry’s wand and hammers the floorboards of the gazrenbo,. Harry gasps as Draco presses upon his bladdre, and hten the sound of Harry’s piss hammers draco and the sound of piss dripping onto the floorboards of hte gazebo echo the water from Harry;’s magic wand. 

Of course, both Draco and the Ester Bunny think Hary’s _other_ wand is also maghic. And he pees all over Draco’s face,m and his chest, and finally aims at Draco’s cokc. As the hot piss cover’s Draco’s cock, hot, precise, heavy, Draco’s cock burns and expands. 

Draco seems to be biting something back. “Fuck, harry, I think I’m going to....” ANd he comes, thick streams of semen pulsing out, dripping down Draco’s belly nd thign to join the puddle of piss on the floor. 

Harry slaps Draco then. “Did you ask permission?” 

Draco’s face is pink, even where Harry didn’t slap him. “No, I’m sorry, harry.”

“I think you need ot suck me clean, Draco,” Harry says. Draco leans forward adn licks the piss off the tip of Harry’s cock. Harry grabs his hari agin, not seeiming to care that draco is gagging a lto around his cock. In fact, the more Draco gag,s the harder Harry pulls Draco forward, until Draco is a gagging, swallowing, drooling mess whose face is buried in Harry’s crotch with no identity of its own. 

Bvec ause the Easter Bunny cn no longer see Draco’s albino face. 

His hair still shines white, though. 

TRHe Easter Bunny can’t stand it any mroe. His paws aren’t exactly slick or prehensile enough to jack himself off. So he goes in search of those peackockss. 

THe peacocks, at least, know whos’ boss. If The Easter bunny pisses on them, they’ll raise their taisl and submit to a gogodd and thorough fucking. 

If he’s lucky, the Easter bunnys sexual shenanigans will scare away all the children. It’s thire turne to boe teerrified, aayway. 

THE END.


End file.
